THE BELITTLING TONGUE
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
When you speak do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you or do they feel worse than they did when they came to you? Are your expectations so high that you have a habit of focusing on people’s shortcomings rather than their assets? Do you have a way of motivating strangers and tearing down ones that are closest to you due to your high expectations for family and friends? Are you so insecure that you only feel good about your self when you are denigrating others?
The word “belittle” implies that something or someone is unimportant or little. It is used in order to disparage a person. To cast them in a negative light, with the intent of making them seem less impressive than they actually appear or feel. Words are just like a hammer; they can either tear down or help build up. Now please keep in mind that belittling isn’t a full fledged cut-down. It is taking a person down a few pegs, often to the belittler’s assumed level; think of it as evening out the playing field.
Do we belittle people about the same things we don’t like about ourselves? It always seems to be that way; but it makes me wonder, if people will ever realize that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side. In fact, if we ever want our grass to be greener…we should just water it.
We have to also realize that some people go to great lengths to make sure their lives appear successful, happy and secure. However most of the time, it is an illusion. They are those that are really empty but appear filled with joy and all things great. They are the ones lonely in crowds of people. In my 27 years I have not met anyone with a perfect life, and I venture to say that we never will. There is always someone better, stronger, cuter, smarter…but this is why I believe we should never compare ourselves to others, because sometimes what we compare ourselves to isn’t even real.
More over, people know when a person belittles another out of jealousy. What makes it worse is, it becomes apparent that they aren’t belittling the other person. They are actually belittling themselves.
Make it a habit to build up your family and friends. Offer an encouraging, sincere word to those around you. Tell you wife how much she means to you, tell your husband how much you appreciate his sense of responsibility, applaud your children for the excellent job they do in school and for staying away from drugs and alcohol, thank your friend for always keeping your secrets and being loyal, just to name a few! Resist the temptation to constantly want to “fix” something about them. Accept them for who they are and remember…you can never change a person, but you can control what changes you make regarding you!
Ask God to help you regarding your speech. Declare that no unwholesome talk will come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs (not what YOU think they need) and also that whatever words you share benefits those who listen.
EXCEL in all that you do LOVE harder than you normally would EXPLORE new things!