CONFRONTING WITH LOVE – PART 3
“Each part…helps the other parts grow.” Eph 4:16 NLT
A good mentor will: (1) Affirm in public, correct in private. Your goal should be to help, not hurt. When you rebuke someone in public you humiliate them, destroying their self-esteem. But when you affirm them in public you build their self-esteem, confidence and incentive. Of course, your praise should be genuine, not just empty words. By affirming sincerely and publicly, you plant the seeds of growth and greatness in the learner. (2) Build an allegiance to relationships, not issues. We tend to build an allegiance either to relationships, or to issues. We become primarily concerned about other people, their feelings, and the relationship, or we become focused on rules, agendas, quotas, tasks and results. A good mentor always puts relationships ahead of issues. In his book Mentoring: The Strategy of the Master, Ron Lee Davis writes: “My father was that kind of mentor, both in his own family and in the church he pastored for twenty-five years. Many times I heard him say, ‘The individual is always more important than the issue.’ He lived this principle daily and he built it into my life. Today, I try to pass on this principle to others.” God has called each of us to run our race and finish it successfully. He has also called us to keep the torch lit and hand it off to the next runner. Don’t merely be satisfied with doing the job, make sure the job keeps getting done by teaching and training someone else. Jesus, the Master-mentor, said: “The works that I do shall [you] do also; and greater works than these shall [you] do” (Jn 14:12).