Blog Archives


Are you a good listener when it’s your voice you hear?
Do you resemble my friend here in the picture? 😉


Enjoy today’s devotional!


“Take heed how you hear.”
Lk 8:18 NKJV

To be a good listener you must: (1) Listen in an active manner. Pay attention. Nobody wants to talk to a corpse, so do these three things: paraphrase, clarify, and give feedback. Paraphrasing helps you understand correctly. Clarifying is asking questions until you fully understand what the other person means. Feedback is sharing your own thoughts and feelings in a nonjudgmental way. (2) Listen with empathy. You may not like what’s being said, but often as you listen, you realize that if you were in their shoes you might feel that way too. “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Ro 12:15 NKJV). That’s what empathy is all about. (3) Listen with openness. Selective listening, defensive listening, and filtered listening, are not open listening. Listen as though you were an anthropologist and the person was from another planet; their customs, beliefs and way of thinking are different from yours, and you’re trying to understand them. (4) Listen with awareness. Does what they are saying line up with the facts? Are they consistent? If you’ve listened actively, empathetically and openly, and still you don’t understand their point of view, you don’t have to attack. Wait, gather more information! Ask, “Could you tell me a bit more?” or “Could you give me a specific example?” Or you might say, “Thank you for letting me know your perspective. I’ll think about it.” Or, “That’s interesting, I hadn’t considered it in that light.” Or, “What you’re saying may have some truth to it. Tell me more.” Jesus listened. And the art of listening is a Christ-like skill you must develop!


Philippians 2:1-4

1-4If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.


Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also to the interests of others. {Philippians 2:4}


Is this what you see/hear when other people are talking to you about something that interests them?

Are most of your conversations with others centered around YOU, YOUR issues, YOUR accomplishments, YOUR good news, YOUR family, YOUR business, YOUR dreams and visions? Have you ever been engaged in a conversation with someone who was self-absorbed? Have you ever been in a relationship that appeared to be one sided? A Self-absorbed tongue will surely alienate others as almost everyone desires to feel important, have their feelings, dreams validated and supported as well as having the feeling of knowing someone cares about you. Trying to have a close relationship with a self-absorbed person is like trying to hug a porcupine.

When someone is speaking to you, are you looking around, are you in your phone, Facebooking or tweeting, staring past them, not making eye contact, or the infamous smile and stare and thinking about something/someone else; yet when you speak you expect everyone’s full, undivided attention about what YOU want to discuss? All of these actions can be felt by the other party vying for your attention–a clear message is sent who is valued in the conversation.

Be aware of this character flaw in your communication. If your not sure if you carry the characteristics of a “self-absorbed” diva or divo lol ask friends or family members; I’m sure they have waited to get a word or two in LOL! If you admit to being the “self-absorbed” type, turn your desires and need for attention, admiration, ego-boosting and other selfish motives over to God; after all it is He who supplies all of your needs. Make a conscientious effort to become absorbed with others and their interests. IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! Challenge yourself to go a whole day or more without making your issues, your life, your accomplishments the focus of your communication. Give everyone you converse with your full, genuine attention. Allow them to know and feel that you genuinely care about them and what they have to say, and watch your relationships deepen.

Declare today that you will not only look to your own interests, but to the interests of others. The primary topic of your conversations today will not be about you…but you will focus on showing others the same attention that you demand.

Love Ya!