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YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE

I can remember a time when my life was solely based on pleasing others…yep, I was a “yes mayum”. It seemed that I only found comfort in who I was if people liked me, or admired me for something. I loved me when someone else loved who I was, I thought I was pretty when someone else told me I was pretty, I thought I was smart if someone told me I was smart.  For some reason it was difficult to believe these things on my own accord. I began searching for my purpose in what people defined and categorized me as. “She said I was great with kids, maybe I’ll become a teacher”, “Your really nice and caring Jennifer, maybe you should become a nurse”. I moved about life in this matter and thought nothing of it. It was only when I started to read the Word and understand just Who I belonged to that this began to change for me. I won’t dare tell you it was easy and I certainly won’t tell you that I don’t still struggle every now and again… I  just was not consumed with others opinions. I’m just being honest with ya!

I remember a time in my life when everything began to change, I started thinking and acting differently, nothing was about me. I felt great about who I was, even if I wasn’t where I was supposed to be; I was cool. I embraced who I was; every victory, every flaw. And then it happened…

I had finally reached a peak, just when I was getting a handle of who I was–I remember being in a relationship with someone that I thought would last forever. I was on cloud 500 LOL! But one day they looked me straight in the eye and told me that they weren’t attracted to me. Told me that I wasn’t exactly their type. I just sat there…I didn’t know what to say, how to react. This was devastating to me. This to me was like a relapse for an addict. I had been sucker punched in the stomach by someone that I loved. I was confused, angry, hurt… I immediately regressed to the “Old Jennifer”. I began to wander into my thoughts, his words became “blah, blah, blah” and I began to hear… “should I lose weight”, “maybe I should dress different”, “maybe it’s the way I wear my hair or the way I talk”, “maybe it’s because I always drop food on my clothes” ( I really do LOL). I became obsessed with trying to figure out what was wrong with me. This couldn’t be…everyone had to like me and think I was attractive, smart and funny… right? WRONG!

For months I held resentment in my heart, I began to check out of the relationship and become detached. Every hug felt fake, I was obsessed in thinking that nothing was no longer real. I wondered what my purpose was in the relationship.  Was everything said to me before a lie? I took what was said to me and carried it with me; it became a weight on my back and my heart. I admired this person, I valued their opinion, I wanted to know that when they were out with me, they felt great about having me alongside them.  Now I’m sure your wondering, “uhhh, why did you stay?” I stayed because I was determined to solve this “problem”. In my mind I knew I could make someone like me and think I was attractive…after all there was nothing wrong with me. I had my flaws like anyone else, but overall I was a great person. So the entire situation just wouldn’t click for me. How can someone I have invested time and energy into building a relationship to just discard me and my feelings in such a way? I cried everyday, feeling horrible about myself and angry at allowing myself to feel this way.

And then I was reminded of this:

“…God made humans in his image
      reflecting God’s very nature.
   You’re here to bear fruit, reproduce,
      lavish life on the Earth, live bountifully!” {Genesis 9:6}

Peaches, why are you up at 4:13am writing this post?! I couldn’t sleep. I need to tell you what I know and rest in now.  Since you are made in God’s image, then you take on His attributes. I had to remind someone that you are wonderfully and fearfully made in the image of Christ. You are smart, you have a TON to offer this world, you have a gift inside of you that the world is waiting for. You are amazing, you are funny, you have a great smile, your hair looks great, you are very attractive, your clothes look fine and if no one else loves you, you have Christ who loves you unconditionally–and that’s enough love to last a lifetime. You are exactly who you are supposed to be; exactly who God designed you to be. Who cares if you drop food on your clothes ;), who cares if someone thinks your not that cute, who cares if someone thinks your too skinny/fat, who cares if your hair is short or long, who cares if you have skinny fingers or stubby toes-You are who you are.

I told you my story, not for us to have a pity-party and feel bad for Peaches. I told you that story because it’s important to know that the enemy will do whatever he can to keep you from staying in God’s will for your life. He will attack in the very areas he knows you struggle with. You MUST remain steadfast, alert and prayed up. Find something you enjoy and makes you feel good about you. Stop trying to “discover your purpose” without first seeking God. The Word tells us:

You’re here to bear fruit, reproduce,
      lavish life on the Earth, live bountifully!” {Genesis 9:6}

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. {Matthew 6:30-33}

I thank God for that moment in my life. As much as it hurt my heart to the core, I was able to learn that I lost focus on Who really mattered. As soon as I allowed someone’s opinion of me to define my worth, I lost my value. We ALL have relationships that create pivotal moments in our lives; they are what I like to call “turning point relationships”- the ones you learn a lesson from. We can either allow it to make us or break us.

It was a situation that I replayed in my head daily at one time; now I have replaced those thoughts with what God says about me. He never lies and only has my best interest in mind and most of all, I trust Him. I find peace and comfort resting in the Lord’s promise and assurances. I know who and Whose I am!

Love Ya!

Peaches

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PHILIPPIANS 4:13

Exodus 4:10-17 (The Message)

10 Moses raised another objection to God: “Master, please, I don’t talk well. I’ve never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer.”

Can you guess what we are talking about today?! We are going to address the Self-Deprecating Tongue. This is speech where you think or speak of yourself as being of little or no worth and eventually minimizing the value of what you “bring to the table” or have to offer. A lot of us struggle with this. We shy away from the gifts that are within us. This is often disguised as a form of humility, but in reality, it is a rejection of the Word of God. Remember? We were told in Philippians 4:13 that we can do all things through Christ that strengthens us. You must watch the negative labels you put on yourself. People will always have something to say about you or a name to give you; but what you name yourself or call yourself is most important.

Have you had an experience that you have allowed to define who you are? For example, have you struggled with your weight and you call yourself “fatso” or “chunky”? Do you call yourself a failure, loser, victim? It is time for you to abandon these words and redefine yourself! God is not pleased when we self-deprecate ourselves. In the scripture above, Moses was not sure he was capable of fulfilling his assignment, take a look at God’s reaction:

Exodus 4:10-17 (The Message)

11-12God said, “And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn’t it I, God? So, get going. I’ll be right there with you—with your mouth! I’ll be right there to teach you what to say.”

13 He said, “Oh, Master, please! Send somebody else!”

14-17 God got angry with Moses: “Don’t you have a brother, Aaron the Levite? He’s good with words, I know he is. He speaks very well. In fact, at this very moment he’s on his way to meet you. When he sees you he’s going to be glad. You’ll speak to him and tell him what to say. I’ll be right there with you as you speak and with him as he speaks, teaching you step by step. He will speak to the people for you. He’ll act as your mouth, but you’ll decide what comes out of it. Now take this staff in your hand; you’ll use it to do the signs.”

Your MUST reject the spirit of inadequacy. Without God, you can do nothing; with God you can do all things. Because His Word is true and real, we can walk in confidence–not in ourselves–but in the grace of God that empowers us!

Love ya!

Peaches

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OUR LIVES IN 5 SHORT CHAPTERS

I was having dinner with friends last night when “Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters” was brought up. I had never heard of it before but  when I read it, I thought it was absolutely amazing and it really had me thinking, everyone can relate to this some way or another; this is everybody’s autobiography. Take a look at it, take your time reading it and really understand what is being said.  Let me know what you think and let’s all commit to making this a much shorter autobiography!

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Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters
 a poem by Portia Nelson, published in her book

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

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Isn’t that something?  I loved it when I read it the first time! We are all going to make mistakes, its when we continue making the same mistake  or continue to make the same bad decisions that it becomes a problem. Make a vow to yourself today to “walk down another street”.

Love Ya!

Peaches

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